You got vaccinated for Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, Hepatitis D, Tetanus, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Polio, Yellow Fever and even Human Papillomavirus before your trip, but there is one medical condition you may have forgotten about. Even I, as an experienced traveler, am prone to forgetting about this one:
The symptoms of Australia Simplex include sore throat, coughing, sneezing and a runny nose. In fact, in many ways, they mirror the common cold.
There is only one known method through which Australia Simplex is transmitted: making out with Australian backpackers.
There are no known ways to reduce the risk of transmission other than abstaining from kissing Australian backpackers.
Treatment includes effervescent cold medications (if you’re lucky), regular cold medications, or sweet, lemony, medicated powdered drinks (if you’re really unlucky).
So protect yourselves, travelers! Keep your tongues in your own mouth, or at the very least find a New Zealander! Don’t make the same mistake I do, year after year, trip after trip, Australian after Australian…