How to Dress for a Party Boat

How to Dress for a Party Boat

Around this time last year I found myself jet-lagged (and a bit anemic, I think), accidentally in the lobby of the Pink Palace hostel, trying to decide whether or not to sign up for one of their infamous Booze Cruises.  It was now or never as, although I’d just landed in Greece after more than thirty-six hours of travel (thanks to numerous Air Canada delays), the next Booze Cruise wouldn’t occur until after I’d departed for Albania.   I’d been on lots of boat day-trips before which had involved good music, relaxing with cool people, swimming and sunning, so I decided to skip the afternoon nap and take the cruise instead.

Needless to say the afternoon went downhill rather quickly.  Our captain’s favorite activity seemed to be plying the ladies with free drinks (they’re only one euro anyways!) and showing them sun-bleached photos he snapped of other drunk tourists engaged in sexual acts on his boat.  If photos aren’t enough for you, there’s also the opportunity to witness your fellow guests get naked, lay on the boat’s bar and have strangers lick whipped cream off their genitals.  FYI, you can still get herpes even if you’re on a boat.  My complete thoughts on the day?  “I’m too old and tired for this.”

Fortunately, the day wasn’t a complete loss, as I had packed for afternoon quite well.  While other people on the boat scrambled to meet their basic needs, I sat back and relaxed, knowing I would never need to trade a sexual favor for a bit of sunscreen.  If you’re going sailing for the day here’s what to bring:

A convertible bikini.  Detachable straps ensure that your top will stay on even when you’re jumping off twelve-meter cliffs, and can be removed if you’re wanting to suntan.

A sheer cover-up.  Sheer offers less sun protection but looks extra cute.

A big beach bag.  To tote your stuff, of course.

Flip-flops.  It seems like half of every glass of booze ends up on the boat’s deck, making for a sticky situation.  Pack flip-flops to keep your feet clean.  I love Ipanema flip-flops, which are designed by supermodel Gisele Bundchen, because they have an entire line of “anatomical” sandals that are moulded to provide support everywhere your foot needs it.

A beach towel.  So much more comfortable than waiting for the sun to dry you.  Check here for a bonus towel trick!

Sunscreen.  Because the only thing worse than getting herpes from a party boat is getting skin cancer from a party boat.

Bottled water.  Sip for sip, match your alcohol consumption to your water consumption.  This will keep you from getting dehydrated and/or making some really bad choices!

And finally, not shown, are snacks.  Even if your party boat serves a meal, it’s a good idea to bring a little bit of your own food in case the meal is terrible or you want to eat something else.  I recommend a small bag of mixed nuts, a banana or even a small package of crackers.

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