What’s that on my leg, you ask? No, it’s not a symptom of early-onset liver poisoning from all the radler I’ve been drinking. Rather, it’s the shameful stripes left by my supposedly “gradual”, “natural-looking” self-tanning body lotion. Yes I bought the “light to medium” formula. Yes, I exfoliated first! Yes, I rubbed it in carefully (in long strokes and circles)! But it seems that no matter what I do, the self tanner color that promises to gradually appear over the course of a week shows up in giraffe-esque patches five or six hours after application, the color of Orange Crush (or Fanta Orange for all you Europeans!). I’ll give it a few more days and if it doesn’t settle down I will name and shame the brand! Stay tuned!