Mealtime Monday: Co-Ed Naked Austrian Cake Buffets

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Just outside Vienna you will find one of Austria’s hidden gems- a massive water park with Austria’s longest indoor water slide, more pools than you can count, and a co-ed adults-only spa area with all manner of saunas, steam rooms and mineral baths that can only be partaken in by those who dare to bare it all (and speaking from personal experience I can tell you that those who dare to bare it all are nearly all grandparents).

Connected to this waterpark via underground tunnel is Thermenhotel Kurz, a family-oriented hotel with tennis courts, a bowling alley, free bicycles and a cake buffet.  Yes, you heard me.  Your full board includes a hearty Austrian breakfast (during which you’ll be asked to select a dinner entree, one of which is always vegetarian), a buffet lunch, the aforementioned three-course dinner and a mid-afternoon cake buffet.  It’s surprisingly stressful: you might find yourself naked in the steam room next to an elderly man rubbing local wine-infused lotion into his buttocks when you hear the clock strike three, signalling the commencement of the cake buffet.  What to do?  I was once so harried by the call of all that Austrian cake that I threw on my robe and scurried back to the hotel, realizing only midway through the connecting tunnel that I’d actually forgot to put my swimsuit back on underneath the robe.  I was faced with a tough decision: go back for my swimsuit and miss the first fifteen minutes of free cake, or continue onwards and hope that my robe didn’t snag on a corner of the buffet table.  What did I do?  I’ll never tell…

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One response to “Mealtime Monday: Co-Ed Naked Austrian Cake Buffets

  1. Just a quick test of the anonymous commenting system. -LGandaB

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